Friday, September 19, 2014

Friday Fun-Day

Heyo! I've been remiss in blogging lately - been busy doing stuff. Grocery shopping, cleaning, house projects (you know, the fun stuff like cleaning the grease off the inside of the stove and reorganizing our laundry room so that you can actually SEE the floor?), had lunch out with my guy a couple times this week and then? Oh, boy. I discovered a store here in Anchorage called Habitat Housewares. It's FILLED to the brim with kitchen-y and home-y gadgets and beautiful things. BIIIG mistake. BIG.

Good news is that they were having a sidewalk sale - 40-50% off sale! So I gots me a BUNCH of goodies for Christmas gifts! I'm almost done Christmas shopping and it's only September! Yaay for that!

So, all of my relatives can thank my husband for taking me out to lunch at Ling and Louie's (fantastic Asian fusion restaurant), as their future Christmas goodies came from the store, Habitat, across the way. Y'all are getting some GOOD goodies!

In other world news, I'm kinda sad that Scotland didn't vote for independence from the UK, but I understand that there were a lot of factors that made it a scary...Certainly was an interesting discussion.

And what is UP with the Aurora Borealis showing up in New England? WTF? Here I move all the way across the Godd**M continent where the Northern Lights are SPOSTA be and then they go and show up over in frigging Massachusetts. For PETE's SAKE! Here's a picture from the Mount Washington Observatory:
Utterly spectacular.
By they by, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day. In case you were wondering. Click here for instructions...

Non-sequiter warning!

I'm gonna work on my other post this morning - pictures of the Graduation and Air Force Military Ball at Columbus Air Force Base. Hope to get that up later on as Kel and I are going to head to Seward tomorrow to spend the night! Fun stuff!

For now, I'll leave you with a hilarious joke from my awesome pal, Hank: 

I  have been in many places, but I've never been in  Cahoots.   
Apparently, you can't go alone.  You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also  never been in Cognito.  I hear no one  
Recognizes you there.

I have, however, been  in Sane.   They don't have an airport; you  have to be driven there.  I have made several trips  there, thanks to my children, friends, family and  work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you  have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity  anymore.

I have also been in Doubt.    That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there  too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when  it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes  I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting  older.

One of my favourite places to be is in  Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps  up the old heart!  At my age I need all the stimuli  I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I  don't remember what country I was in.   It's  an age thing.   They tell me it is very wet  and damp  there.

Today  is one of the many National Mental Health Days  throughout the year.  You can do your bit by  remembering to send this e-mail to at least one unstable person.   
My job is done!

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Homer, Alaska - Land's End

After staying the night on the beach near the mouth of the Kasilof River, my guy and I continued on toward Homer, Alaska. Homer - if you've never been - is a long spit of beach and land, surrounded by the ocean on both sides. It is artist colony meets hippies meets incredible food meets cruise ship tourist! What a combo!

We set up camp on Katchemak Bay - there were several campsites along the beach and we were lucky enough to grab the only available one on Labor Day weekend. Here was our campsite overlooking the Bay and the Katchemak Mountains. Off to the right there were also giant volcanoes visible but I didn't grab a picture of them...
Pheebles was chilly so we made her a nest! She's wearing my new Black Dog fleece!

A huge bald eagle (there were probably 20 or so eagles on the beach) -
carried away a dead salmon right next to our camp.

After getting back home on Tuesday late afternoon, I had just enough time to unpack, do laundry, re-pack, eat dinner, have a drink and then to bed for a couple hours, only to get up, and head to the airport at 11pm to catch my flight to see my family in Georgia. I got to Atlanta the following day at 3pm local time (7pm Alaska time). Got on the train and then finally to my Aunt and Uncle's house! Phew.

We got up early the next day and then drove through Alabama over to Mississippi to the Columbus Air Force Base to stay for a couple of days for the graduation ceremony of my beautiful and talented cousin, A! She received top honors in academics in her pilot training program. She's going to be flying C-17s out of Charleston, South Carolina. An amazing young woman, and I just could not be more proud of her.

Here are my Aunt and Uncle's dogs Rudy (left) and Lily (right). They came with us to the Air Force Base!

The weather in Mississippi was SOOOO hot and SOOOOO humid! The antithesis of Alaska weather! I bitched and complained my way through the entire trip. I do NOT like humidity. It makes me uber cranky.

However, the cloud formations and thunderheads everywhere were spectacular!

Next installment will be the Air Force Ball! What an incredible experience...Awesome five-piece band, great food, black tie event - all inside a GIANT hangar on the base. There were SEVEN planes inside the hangar, a huge dance floor, seating for 500 people, a stage for the speeches, two bars, AND? There was room to spare! It was incredible...

Here's a teaser picture:
Yes, I'm wearing a silk, vintage Emilio Pucci dress! I found that dress in a consignment store for a STEAL! It feels like a whisper and makes me feel super special. I LOVE that dress.

Ok. Off to do some baking! I feel oatmeal chocolate chip cookies coming on...

Ciao for now.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Tripping, man!

So, hey! What up? I've been busy busy bounding around these United States of ours. First, a long weekend away with Kelly and Phoebe - we took a leisurely trip to Homer, Alaska. The first night, we stayed on the beach bluff overlooking Cook Inlet near the mouth of the Kasilof River. It was all but abandoned compared to the thousand or so folks who were there fishing for salmon last time we were there...

These are the views from our campsite as the sun went about its job of setting:

The Spurr Mountain range

The mouth of the Kasilof River

Mount ReDoubt (a volcano last active in 2009)

Mount Illiyamna
The crescent moon

The bright orange sky

Kelly enjoying the view
After our night at this site, we continued on another 70 miles to Homer, Alaska...Will show you pictures of that next!

We got home from this trip late in the afternoon on Tuesday, the 2nd of September - I then had to unpack, do laundry, repack, take a shower, eat dinner, sleep for 2 minutes and then hop on a plane to Atlanta! I went to Atlanta, then drove through Alabama to Columbus Air Force Base in Mississippi to attend my cousin's graduation for her accelerated pilot training school! She's completely amazing. SO proud of her.

Another blog installment will be pictures of her graduation and then a fancy schmancy Air Force Military Ball! Wowza! Those people know how to have a GOOD time! 

Non-sequiter warning! 

That's something else about that Oscar Pistorius trial. We still have a long way to go, apparently, before justice will be served for domestic violence survivors and victims.

Did you all get to see the amazing stories told by six women yesterday on Huffington Post? Really powerful stuff. Listen to them HERE.

Ok. Ciao for now! Hope you are all well. 

Friday, August 29, 2014

Raising Your Happiness Quotient

And this video. Holy cute.

And then there's THIS one, too!

And, of course, another fun one courtesy of my dear friend, Hank:

A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and he should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off.
The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I thought I told you to take those to the zoo."
The man replies "I did, they loved it. Today I'm taking them to the movies."


So, I realize I've been a bit ranty lately. But the incredible amount of bullshit being exposed via the lovely thing that is the Internet has got my britches all up in a bunch.

Here's the thing. A person I know and love and care about was a victim of domestic violence last week. She didn't deem it as such because she didn't have any bruises to show for it.

Well, I'm not going into detail, but suffice it to say that her ex-boyfriend (and I use the term "boyfriend" rather loosely because people who love you don't do shit like this)...Anyway, this ASSHOLE M*THERFUCKER showed up at my house where she was sleeping. It was 5:00 am, he was DRUNK as shit, and he repeatedly pounded on our door, demanding to see "his woman."


Long story short, the police came, the idiot would not follow their instructions to leave, so he got himself arrested.

Good going, kiddo. Way to be a good guy. Nice boyfriend, eh?

The kicker is that this idiot was blaming ME for his woes. Like I caused the situation where HE comes to MY house and gets arrested. Yeah, riiiight.

Nope. Sorry kid. You and YOU ALONE are to blame for the whole ridiculous mess.

Long story short, I now have a 19 year old woman and her little dog living here.

A victim of domestic violence.

At 19.

I immediately got her to an abused women's shelter called Abused Women Aid in Crisis (amazing) where a wonderful counselor spent two hours talking to my friend, gently informing her that she was actually in imminent danger from her "boyfriend." We then spent the ensuing hours going through the proper legal channels at the courthouses here to make certain that we were safe from another terror-inspiring visit from the "boyfriend."

Phew. What a fucking day THAT was.

Again, so now here comes the ranty part. What the fuck is UP with the males of our world? And, yeah, blah blah blah, I know there are women who commit acts of violence against men and children, but the statistics show a VERY heavy skew toward the variety of humans who carry that pesky Y chromosome.

Even the President of George Washington University - a prestigious and liberal university - made the MOST IGNORANT comments yesterday about rape on college campuses. Here's an open letter from the Huffington Post from an alumna from GWU. She addresses his ridiculously stupid comments with a biting letter that just made me want to cheer...

It's time for us to address this bullshit. I watched a powerful TED talk a few weeks ago about the subject of rape and how, INEVITABLY, the victim is asked what she was wearing. Or if she had been drinking. Or if she was "teasing" the rapist.


It doesn't MATTER what she was wearing. Or if she was drinking or if she had even initially been sexually interested in the rapist.

What MATTERS is that there was a VIOLENT act made against this person. Something against her will. It's not any different than what happens when some asshole beats up a homeless person. Just because. Or when an unarmed black person is shot by police. Or when guerillas beat and kill children because they are so sick in the head that they think they're acting under the will of God.

There is no God anywhere that wants acts of violence to be made against another soul.

So, ok. End of rant.

I will leave you with some ridiculously cute pictures of my 19 year-old friend's doggie named Jax. He's a French bulldog, but he more resembles a piglet. I actually don't call him Jax, I refer to him as Piggie or Lil Pig. He snorts and snuffles and eats the crab apples off the ground in my back yard. He plays with ice cubes and is best friends with my little dog, Phoebe.
They play and play and then CRASH! Right now I have a quiet house with only the sounds of the seaplanes flying overhead, the fridge running and dogs snoring.

And my 19 year-old friend is asleep peacefully in her blue room. And I'm so very thankful she is alive.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Funnies (thanks primarily to Hank!)

This one is CLASSIC Hank:

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion." 

Did somebody lose the cat?

These are called paraprosdokian sentences. The first half has one meaning and the second sentence gives the phrase a whole new meaning. 

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Many more funnies to come! I just needed a heavy dose of silliness today. Hope you are well.

Random stuff

First off, I'm completely crazy over our Attorney General, Eric Holder. What a fantastic man. Thank you, AG Holder.

Second, the discussions that have been happening re: Ebola, Ferguson, Robin Williams, the atrocities in Iraq...Through these terrible things, we are learning some incredible things about human nature and asking the right questions. I'm trying to stay positive which is not always so easy, right?

Third, it's time for some levity. I have collected (over many years) some of the funniest photos, videos and jokes (thanks to you, Hank!).

So, it's JOKE day on Life with Flowers! Plus, I've got to get my head straight for the Emmys which are on MONDAY! I'm sooooo excited! I have missed out on so many award shows in the last couple years, so YAAAY for the Emmys! I've already warned me new, lovely husband about my obsession with these silly self-congratulatory productions...oh, well.

On with the silliness...

Well. Jeez. Looking through the pictures I have from the last 15 years I have found pictures I WAAAANA post that aren't necessarily funny for you, but bring back some fabulous memories. So, this will be my post about fun memories from my recent past. I'll put up another one today that are the funny ones, mmkay?

These are completely random and in no particular order. Just sayin' so you don't think I've gone and caught the schizophrenia (not that there's anything wrong with it (to steal a line from Seinfeld))...

Christmas in Salem! My house was on the Christmas in Salem home tour that year.

My bestie since we've been three years old. My momma made all my costumes 
and this year Karen and I needed to be fairy princesses. I miss being a fairy princess.

This particular Halloween I was Snookie. I rocked it and had a total blast! My ex, Dan and I had epic Halloween parties sometimes with up to 130 people! Good gravy. We were crazy.

SELFIE! With my giant Liatris plants. They grow everything extra large in Alaska. Liatris in MA grow to about maybe 3 feet - this one is now as tall as I am. Alaska's soil and incredible amount of light make everything ridiculous and productive and HUUUUUGE.

My Sadie scratching herself. She had no front toofies so her tongue stuck out all the time!

My gay skeleton at Halloween time in Salem. 
He was FAAAAA-Bulous (as said in Paul Lynde's voice!)

Sadie again. Dan and I called her "The World's Most Comfortable Dog" - and she was.

My bestie's little puppysnickerdoodlelovebug cutie pie named Tallulah Blueberry. 
Karen's giving her treats sent by moi, Auntie Lisa.

Only the best humpback whale in the entire North Atlantic named Spoon. She's always been my favorite whale. As far as anyone knows, she's the biggest humpback on record. 
63 feet long and easily 50 tons or more. Impressive.

Koty and Lady on our beloved Boaty! We loved fishing and 
Koty was quite helpful with the frozen herring!

My Lady a few days before she died. 

My little Phoebe. Or Phoobles. Also called Loops. Or Little Roo. Or Little Red. 
She's so damn cute it hurts!

My best friend's doggies - Edsel with the underbitey on the left, and Tallulah Blueberry.
Oy with the cuteness.

Ok. Next installment are funnies.
Hope you are well.